Seriously?!!! Seriously.

So I just heard on NPR that the bonuses received by employees on Wall Street this past year were the 6th largest ever.  This seems to me, hmmm, how do I say this delicately? Morally reprehensible.  Ethically appalling.  Backwards and disgusting.  Totally suspect. Kudos to our president, in my opinion, for calling them out on their bonuses. Raise your hand if your boss would reward you for losing millions of people millions of dollars.   Aren't they supposed to be working for us?  Isn't their job to be experts at helping to keep our economy healthy?  When other people do their jobs poorly they are not rewarded with crazy big bonuses, they often, in fact, would find themselves out of a job.  

Lighter post to follow later tomorrow when I've cooled down and taken a few pictures of a more uplifting subject matter...

Hoosh gotch the chubbiesht cheek-eesh...?

Apparently, I do.

29 weeks and counting...

This morning my friendly neighbor was coming home just as G and I were getting in the car to leave.  She excitedly said, "Are you expecting?!"  Yes, yes we are, in April.  (husband and wife exchange a proud smile across the hood of their car)  "I thought so.  The other day I saw your face (motions with both hands near her face as if she were a chipmunk stocking up for winter).  ---Oh, and then your (motions to her belly)."  Wait, WHAT?!!!

My chipmunk face is what tipped her off.  

Not my rather large belly, mind you.  Not my pregnant waddle.  No. It was first and foremost my glowy moon face.

Up until this point I was completely oblivious to the fact that my face was competing with my uterus in the "let's look pregnant race" and according to my filter-less neighbor, winning.  

So when Gabe and I got home from our breastfeeding-your-baby class this afternoon (more on that, later), I asked him to take some prego pics for me to update my blog.  I made clear the goal: take pictures that show me my face doesn't resemble a platter. 

Turns out this is a tough task.  Thankfully we have a new camera, and a delete button.  My neighbor may have crossed a social etiquette boundary (surprising how many people ignore the fact that it might not be the best idea to tell a highly hormonal, very uncomfortable woman who is gaining a pound a week for many months their take on how she looks) but it turns out my neighbor is right. 

The pictures above are the least revealing of my chubby face, therefore they made the cut.

I have more to post, but I'll save it for later...

p.s.  I'm getting so excited to meet our baby, I can hardly stand it.

hold on people, i get a little riled

We're getting ready to run a couple of errands and then meet up with some people at CC Reservoir this afternoon.  There should be food and bocce ball, maybe volleyball and hopefully sun.  So far, so good. 

I've been crossing off day-by-day on my school calendar and realized this morning that I forgot to cross off yesterday.  Since the calendar is on my desk at school, I won't be able to cross it off until Tuesday.  That means I'll get to cross off Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.  I am looking forward to this.  That will leave 4 and a half school days left.  To say I'm excited is an understatement.

That boy with the violent plans has been suspended through the end of the school year.  He left a threatening note on a teacher's computer, clearly intended for her specifically.  Now I don't know what happens with him.  Big sigh.

I mentioned in my last post that I would be talking about our country in all its power.  At the awards ceremony the other night, the lieutenant governor spoke about how powerful and well-off our country is.  Essentially he was telling the students about how we need to continue dominating the world, and that it will soon be in their hands.  It made me think about what God says about that.  A lot of times Christianity and conservative patriotic politics go hand-in-hand.  I am not saying this is wrong, and I am not saying this is right.  I really don't intend to start a political "conversation" in writing this.  I just think sometimes (okay, a lot of times) American Christians (most of our country classifies themselves this way) emphasize more the need to be on top and to stay true to our country (our wallets, ourselves) over the vision of Jesus: to give, love others, focus not on yourself, etc..  Benjamin Franklin coined the "God helps those that help themselves" motto, NOT Jesus.  This could not be more contrary to the message of the Bible, and yet this is how many of us live.  We're Americans.  We have an American dream.  Catholics worry most about abortion.  Protestants worry most about homosexuality. Others worry about higher taxes, or socialized healthcare.  I must have missed those great commands. (I realize those are incredibly sweeping statements that I know aren't the case for every Catholic, every Protestant, every Christian.) The way I see it, we're called to love God, love others.  We're not called to worry about how to get ahead, or stay ahead.  We're not called to make it our life's goal to tell others how awful and wrong they are. We're not called to "help ourselves."  So in this Christian nation, how is it that we've managed to become so wealthy and so unhelpful?  Some will say that that statement is inaccurate and unfair.  I know a load of Christians, and non-Christians that do a wonderful job of living out (what I believe to be) our true calling, but on the whole, I don't believe it to be an unfair statement.

Let me reign it in a little, because as I mentioned earlier, I really don't want this to be a long political/religious rant.  I want to teach our kids and our nation that God doesn't help those who help themselves, He challenges us to help each other (next door and across the world).

Alright, I'm going to click on Publish Post before I chicken out and delete this whole thing.   I love our country, I love Jesus, and I try to love others (and a lot of days I miss the mark).  

goodbye, art club and my life comes full circle (sort of)

Hmmm...what to write about? I'm sitting at my desk at work for "Art Club" which has evolved into a pretty lack-luster weekly event in my life. Art Club used to be cool. Today is the last day we'll meet for the year, and I have to say I have completely indone myself with our finale. There are six devoted kids here, and two of them are actually doing some art. Three are doing projects for other classes, and one is making a sign for the 8th grade dance--which does involve some cutting and gluing. Basically I'm hosting a glorified homework club, minus any glory.

Tonight my life will come full circle. Kind of. I had to really push to be a part of tonight's 8th grade awards ceremony. I was told a number of times in a number of ways that traditionally this has always been strictly an academic awards ceremony. And over and over I said as tactfully as I could, that I simply didn't care. I will be awarding five outstanding art students of mine with plaques this evening. A) I received a plaque for artistic achievement at my 8th grade "graduation" fifteen years ago (hence the "full circle" comment), and B) just because Art is not recognized as one of the scholarly pursuits of middle school, there are students here that have blown me away with their talent, creativity, depth and intelligence displayed in ART. Einstein said something about creativity/imagination being much more valuable than knowledge because knowledge is finite. Especially in this day and age when anyone (including their grandmas) can obtain just about any information their little hearts desire on the internet. If scientists and mathmaticians and writers and teachers and doctors aren't able to approach their work/fields with creativity, then nothing new comes to be known. I don't mean to devalue academic achievement, but I also won't allow students who have acheived a great deal in the visual arts to be devalued for their successes. So, after ruffling a few feathers, I am happy to say that five students will be honored for their brain's ability to create and inspire. Stickin' it to the man any way I can, sort of. Actually I really dislike rocking any proverbial boat, and generally try to avoid any and all boat-rocking and feather-ruffling. An exception just had to be made this time.

surry, eets long

Surly post coming on. I'm feeling a tension that I have to vent about some more (more than the long conversation I just had with Gabe). To some of you left-brainers (read: organized since birth, focused, efficient, unswerving, logical, orderly, methodical) this post will confuse and confound you even more about my kind (read: flexible, random, artistic, indecisive, emotional, unhurried).  

To preface, this evening was the last art show of the school year.  It's kind of the pinnacle for the art programs in our district.  High school students "compete" for college scholarships.  It's the cream of the crop, the best of the best, pick of the litter, creme de la creme, etc., etc.. It's a k-12 show in a real gallery, with actual frames and mats and wire on the back.  Teachers bring the finest art their students have created during the school year, so needless to say, for an art teacher, it's a great show.  (side note: one of my 8th graders had a conversation with one of the college recruiters admiring her piece and was given some tips about creating a digital portfolio and how to prepare for art school--she was beaming.  I was so proud of her :)

I was completely impressed with many of the high-schoolers art. Some amazing talent! I was inspired... and convicted.  By the time I walked out the door, I was emotionally pounding myself done to the ground. I love art.  I love to be around art.  I love to make art.  I almost never make art. Why don't I make more art?  Why is there this thing that I love to do, that I get completely lost in, this thing that makes me oblivious to the constructs of time and space, this thing that I almost never do?  I spend my weekdays devising and facilitating ways for large groups of kids to make art, and yet, when I get home I don't follow suit.

Doesn't it make logical sense that a person would do what they love to do?  What is wrong with me?  Through talking with G I think I've come to the sorry truth that I've been lazy.  I've honestly, though subconsciously, been waiting for the inspiration lightning bolt to strike.  I've thought what place do I have making uninspired art?  There's enough bad art in the world, I don't want to contribute to the stock pile of tasteless, tacky, kitsch in the world.  Therefore, if there's no bolt, there's no art.  Saying it out loud, and typing it in black and white, I see how lazy and presumptuous it is to think that way.  

I know there are people (hi Brooke G. ;) who self-admittedly don't "get" art. There are a lot of people that don't understand what the big deal is.  You're wondering why I'm making such a fuss and writing such a seemingly endless post.  Some of you understand where I'm coming from and (hopefully) have been here (and will offer some wise words).  What is the deal with wanting to do something, and not doing it day after day?  What's the solution?  Here is where you left-brainers are rolling your eyes, thinking, "Just do that thing.  How hard is that? What's the problem?" I don't know. Your wise words would probably prove helpful, too, so lay 'em on me.  Please.   

Right-brainers: How do you break through creative blocks?

     How do you motivate yourself to work?

Left-brainers: How are you so productive?

  How do you avoid procrastination? 

Any of your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.  I genuinely look forward to what any and all of you have to say. 

ARGGGHHH!!!

I hope I haven't turned into some old fogey who's always saying things like, "Kids today just don't...(fill in the blank with inadequacy here)." Is this some right of passage we all enter eventually, regardless of what generation we inhabit? Is this something I've been noticing in myself just because I work with one of the more stereotypically difficult age groups? Am I just really ready for spring break?

It seems to me like quite a few of my students (not all, or anywhere near all for that matter) have a pretty ingrained sense of entitlement. These are not kids who come from a ridiculous "my super sweet sixteen" amount of wealth and privelege either. Yet time and time again I find myself up against various students expecting that rules and procedures don't apply to them---That if they whine or argue enough about something being unfair (when the real issue is they just don't feel like doing something) that eventually I'll realize it was wrong to hold them to the same expectation as everyone else. I'll realize that it IS unfair of me to want them to actually produce some art. Just because this is Art class, who am I to expect that my students produce art? Its a pretty unrealistic, hair-brained idea of mine, isn't it? (note the sarcasm, please)

Has anyone else had similar feelings about "kids today", or is it just me?

I also suspect that parents today have either created or at least worsened this trend. When I was little, had I ever gotten in trouble at school (I'm a first-born, only child...so it was virtually impossible for me to break a rule), I know I would have been in trouble at home. I hear stories every week from other teachers I work with of parents defending whatever crazy/disresectful thing their kid did---to the point of yelling at teachers. I've had some minor experience with this, too, don't get me wrong.

AND another thing ( :) ) I've asked kids about what they dream of for their future and heard over and over some variation of the following:

I want to be rich.

How?

Have lot's of money.

How do you hope to make your money?

I dunno, but I want a Hummer.

Okay. Clearly I'm a little perturbed today. Honestly though, it worries me to hear so much of what I consider to be misguided, shallow values. What happens if the generations below us care more about bling than they do about the environment? If they care more about money than happiness and fulfillment? If they care more about winning a fight than they do about doing the right thing? More about big cars and houses than helping people in trouble? It's rare that I see an act of compassion occur, and far too frequent that I see kids hurting each other (and themselves, though they don't see it this way) in order to GET more, or BE right. I talk to parents and sense that instilling their kids with character, perseverence, compassion, kindness, self-respect, etc. is not what they view their job to be.

It all makes me sad. On some days (like today), it makes me angry. It's an emptiness in these kids' world that I don't know how to combat effectively. It of course (in my mind) leads to bigger issues and questions about God. Where do these kids see God? How do these kids see that LOVE when they are only taught to want and get MORE. Consume, buy, win, slack. These things are in opposition to everything God calls us to. Give, love, sacrifice. How do I convey to kids who's whole lives have been about getting what's theirs, the indescribable joy that comes from giving, loving, SACRIFICING. How can I expect that to make sense?